Hello, Dear Friend,

You deserve better than him.  Don't allow his mistakes to reflect on you.  He's the one who has the alcohol problem and the infidelity problem.  I also suffered for several years with a husband who was unfaithful and for a long time, I though it was something about me.  Then I realized  that it wasn't me; it was he who had the problem and there was nothing that I could do about it.  He was the one who needed to see what he was doing to himself and our marriage.  I couldn't live that way any more, so I left and filed for divorce.  He was mad at me, and suddenly decided that he loved me and wanted to stay married, but I was not fooled any more.  Six months after our divorce, he called and apologized to me, so there is no anger between us and we've both moved on.  It took a couple of years for me to find myself again, and to truly be myself and it's wonderful.  I'd never again allow myself to be in that place where my ex put me.

Janet

Hi all,
I have been on the other side of this having left my husband after 18 years. I did it with as much peace and caring and support as i could. I was afraid and i knew he would be so angry. But i had to grow, and it was not happening for me in the relationship.

I feel that We are all in a kind of dance with each other, to learn and grow and be mirror to. I had to learn to fall in love with myself when i left, and to not latch on to someone else and give my self away. It is not the fault of another person.
We create everything, that I know for sure.
When i am sad, after really feeling and allowing it, if i am still feeling it, I have a signal that it's then wallowing and self pity bullshit.
I then say no to thinking about any of that and trade it for "what do i want?' how can i fall in love with me today", and look for things that make me feel yummy and happy.

Here is to finding your tools,

love,
lorisong