Hi everyone!  I hope that everyone is doing well!  I thought I would start a topic under this thread and see what everybody thinks.
How are we all doing as parents?  I must admit I struggle!! I have two daughters.  My oldest, Kaity, is 26 and mom of three.  We are great friends.  It didn't come easy, but it sure is worth it!  We get along so well now that last fall we moved into a duplex together.  She and her boyfriend and their kids live downstairs and my younger daughter, Tricia, age 15 and I live in the upstairs unit.  Its an old house that was redone into two apartments.  We love it!  It is so fun to have my grandkids downstairs! 
My parenting struggles are with my teenager.  I know that it is tough being a teenager and I would not want to ever have to live through those years again, but boy, I sure struggle trying to be the mom I want to be.  I have a real hard time turning a deaf ear sometimes and my temper gets awfully short!!  It is definitely one of the areas of my life that I intend to improve.  I am reading "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" right now and wow, there is so much there, isn't there?  If you haven't read it, get it!!  My finances are currently very tight (I broke my leg in March and had to have surgery after six weeks in a cast, so I haven't worked in almost four months!!!) so I went to the library and picked it up.  I definitely will get my own copy as soon as I can.
So, my parenting struggle is that I just don't behave like the grown up very often!!! I am getting better everyday though!  I didn't have my own mom when I was a teen ager and didn't accept my step-mother, so I have long lived with the false belief that I didn't know how to be a mom to a teenager.  I am starting to realize, though, that all of the answers really are there inside of us, but that is a new concept for me.  Oh well, better now than never!! So, what 'cha got out there?  Anyone else have a tough time parenting?  If not, why not??  Love, Teresa

Good Morning Cathy!  I smiled so while I read your post.  I also use the phrase 'Disneyland Dad" and I have called my stepmother so many times just to apologize for being such trouble as a teen!!!!  STAY TOUGH!! Someday your kids will thank you.  You are the one who is leading them to become the adults they were meant to be!  You are giving them opportunities to grow and learn, even though they see them as restrictions and bummers!  You are showing them responsibility and maturity even though they see only restrictions and bummers!  My oldest daughter Kaity had a terrible time as a teen.  She was into drinking and smoking pot, gangs, on probation, terriibly depressed, suicidal, and ultimately wound up having a baby at 16!  I stayed so strong with her and kept putting her into treatment placements and working with professionals who could help.  It was so hard and she really didn't like me much most of the time.  I will never forget one day when her youth pastor came up to me and handed me a piece of paper.  He said the kids had an assignment to write about who their hero was.  They didn't need to put their names on the page, but my daughter did and she said that I was her hero because I stayed tough when she needed it most and hated it most!  That piece of paper got me through many tough days and nights.  SO   here is your piece of paper--

Cathy, you are my hero!  You stand strong for your children and guide them in the direction that will lead them to their highest good!  You are an amazing Mom!  If it were in my financial power I would degree that you get a lifetime pass to Disneyland for Mommys!!!!  Best Wishes !
Love, Teresa

Thanks to both of you! One post gave me the second wind I really needed!

Gracias,

Cathy

As I was reading through this topic I was thinking about what Andy mentioned--projecting. I noticed that the characteristics in my kids that frustrated me the most were those characteristics that I didn't like in myself.

I used to fell so much shame if my kids or H even hinted that I was lazy. I used to get very upset about the chores that my children didn't finish. As Debbie suggests in The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, I acknowledged the areas of my life where I have been (and sometimes still am) lazy. I see the gifts in having lazy as a  part of me--that part of me knows how to shut everything out and give my body and brain the rest it needs, even if there's laundry waiting to be washed.

I also embraced that sometimes I am a "mean mom"   :-O 

Rita