I will try to make this short.  I was married for 30 years.  I had a eye disease in 2000 which caused blindness.  4 children who helped me get to appointments.  The month last child moved thousands of miles away husband began affair with my good friend.  He left and moved in with her.  That was almost 2 years ago.  I thought it would kill me.  I had 4 eye surgeries and sight was restored.  I was divorced last spring.  Met a wonderful man.  I committed to him.  We moved to a different state.  Now I find myself very scared.  I feel very sad at times.  I had a few good friends and now they are hard to reach.  I ask myself did I jump into this relationship too soon.  Sometimes I want to say what is bothering me but I am so scared to rock the boat.  In my marriage I was the one who always made everything right and happy for everyone.  We rarely had an argument.  I am afraid to make him mad at me.  I also see that there is anger that needs to be addressed.  I have deep abandonment issues with over a dozen homes as a child.  I learned to stay as quiet as possible just so I would be liked and have a home.  I keep feeling like the little girl with a suitcase leaving what she thought was home.  I realize I don't feel safe anymore.  I needed to get this out of me.  Thanks

Here's what jumped out at me in your post. You say you're afraid to rock the boat in your current relationship by talking about what's bothering you. Then you say that in you were the one who made everything happy and right in your marriage.

YOU can't make everything happy and right for anyone other than yourself.

You now know that trying to make everything happy and right for everyone else doesn't work if you're not happy and right.

I think if you read your post as if it was written by a stranger, you'll see that you have all the information you need to make a decision. And like Teresa says, you don't have to do it alone. 

Lori,

How wonderful that you reached out on this board.  It sounds like you have a lot of fear and a lot of pain, and that can be a heavy burden to carry.  There are so many resources on the site, like the meditations and prayers, that can be a comfort to you as you work it through.

I have two suggestions for you.  First is to attend one of Debbie Ford's Shadow Process workshops.  This is an incredible process where you will not only get in touch with your pain and anger, you will have an opportunity to begin the process of healing your heart in a powerful way.  Second, I suggest you contact one of our Spiritual Divorce coaches for a complimentary sample session.  The Spiritual Divorce coaching process is about healing all kinds of relationships, past and present.

I'm so glad you have come to this community.

Marta

http://www.theglobalheart.org/martaanders