My soon to be Ex left me after 15 years of marriage for his AA sponser(also his first cousin).  They had been living together in another state for 2 years before I knew for sure that they were really together.  He has a trucking company and travels back and forth.  I had suspected it,  but every time I asked, they denied it.  But that is another issue.
I am angry over the fact that I now have to share my 5 boys with them.  Every other holiday and for other things that come up.  They are mine!  I work very hard to provide for them.  I sit down every night and do homework. (And then go do my own.) I go to every game.  I get them to every practice.  I handle and take care of all the emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, and all the mom and dad things etc... I take them to therapy and Alanon/alateen etc.... And they get to play with them.  I struggle to put food on the table and pay the heating bill.  And they get to play with them.  They take them to places like Disneyland, buy them games and new expensive clothes.  I haven't had any new clothes in two years, because I am tryping to keep my boys  in clothes. I can't even aford to take them all to a movie.
I was true and faithful in my marriage.   I wasn't the alcoholic, I didn't commit adultry, I tried faithfully to go to church and read the scriptures to my boys every night.  I try/tried very hard to do all the right things.  Yet I am the one that has been dumped on.  I am the one that has to spend everyother holiday alone.  They are my boys!  I hate having to share them!  I have tried everything I can think of to release this anger.  I think I have it handled and then another holiday comes and they get to go with dad and they other woman.  When it is my time the only things I can aford to do is go camping or rent a movie.  (The one good thing is they don't like her.  They fight all of the time.  A couple of the boys won't even talk to her.)   I know this sounds like I am selfish.  I sound like it all about me.  I am tired!  There are times I feel like I have nothing left to give.  How can I get over this anger?  Or can I?

Hi Bonnie
It sounds like it's about you because it is!! "You do THIS, "they" did "that", YOU do "this" "they" do "that", and so on. . . . I understand the pain of your situation, (I went through it myself) and it is a process to get through,  but how much longer are you willing to hold on to that anger?? You say you feel "you have nothing to give", we cannot "give" until we "for-give!!" Remember forgiveness is an act of self love, and something we "give" ourselves in order to step up to our next level.
So when you're ready to transform your anger into the fuel to propel you into the next expression of yourself. . . . just count. . . "1,2,3, "four-GIVE!!!"
Much strength to you Bonnie,
Adrianna
www.theglobalheart.org/adriannapedrin